When my kids grow up, I want them to like me and want to spend time with me. I want to be their friend. But right now, when they are young, I can’t be their ‘friend’ because I have to be the parent. I must provide leadership, a voice of authority, and corrective discipline. In the book of Lamentations 3:25 it says, “It is good for a man that he should bear the yoke in his youth.” The way I have interpreted this verse is like this: “It is good for a person to learn to submit when he is young.” The truth is that it’s easier to learn anything when you’re young.

As the parent, it is my job to teach my child to submit to the voice of authority – whether mine or someone else’s. I have to teach my child to obey. As such, I must give clear direction and expect it to be followed. If it’s not followed, then I must provide the necessary consequences. No one likes consequences. And when my child feels punished by me, I can guarantee that he doesn’t want to be my friend. All four of my children, at one time or another, have told me that they don’t like me. But, that’s okay. I have chosen not to feel threatened or hurt by those statements. My goal is not to get them to like me – though that is something I truly desire. My goal is to teach them to obey me, submit to me, so that someday, they will obey and submit to all authority, especially to God Himself.